by Mike Toohey, M.A.
The most common criticism of REBT is that it is too harsh – it is overly didactic and that REBT therapists put words in the mouths of their clients. Critics imagine that the client will say, “I’m angry at my brother,” and that the therapist will say, “That’s because you are telling yourself that he MUST do what you want him to do. From now on, tell yourself that, although you WANT him to do things, it is not logical to think that he MUST!” However, this criticism seems to be more a reflection of the therapist’s personal style rather than of REBT.
The typical REBT-er learned about REBT by watching videos of Albert Ellis. Since Al founded REBT, his personal style became associated with how therapists provide REBT therapy. Al was arguably the most didactic therapist to ever live. Yet, his clients often said that he really understood them. By all means, Al wasn’t for everyone. Nor is any therapist. But the point is that, even the clients of Al didn’t say he was too harsh.
But let’s suppose that Al was overly didactic and harsh. REBT theory posits that there are four types of irrational beliefs and that, in order to get better, it is important to change those beliefs to more rational ones. Al provided various disputes to help challenge the irrational beliefs. Yet, the disputes aren’t overly didactic in themselves. Nothing in the theory discusses presentation of these beliefs to clients. In fact, therapeutic theories rarely discuss how to present the theories to clients. Only humanistic, I think.
So my point is, REBT theory can be lectured, yelled, or asked in a series of questions. How it is presented is really up to the therapist; it is not ingrained in the theory itself. In fact, Janet Wolfe does a great job of disputing socratically in her video presentations. Clearly, every therapist is different. Not all REBT therapists are alike, and neither are all psychodynamic or even humanistic therapists. Whether or not a therapist is overly harsh is completely up to the therapist.
